So we're into dress rehearsal week for "The Lower Room", and it's starting to become quite an emotional experience.  I've done shows with Harrisburg Youth for Christ before, but this is the first Passion Play I've done, and I definitely was not prepared for being on stage as Christ is being "crucified".  It's one think to sit in the audience and watch (which I've done before), but it's another thing completely to be up there and be a part of what's happening.

The crucifixion scene is especially difficult because I'm supposed to be mocking him as the woman playing Mary sings this very emotional song called "He's My Son".  I'm watching a portrayal of the moment in history that saved my life, and I have to act completely contrary to what I'm feeling.  Not only that, but earlier in the show, I play Mary the mother of Jesus during a "Nativity scene" moment.  Within a few scenes, I go from being someone who
knows that He is the Messiah to being someone who can't possibly believe His claims are true.

But as I've been thinking about and processing this whole emotional roller coaster, I've realized that this change really shouldn't be so hard to do.  After all, I do the same thing in real life all the time.  So often I choose not to believe what God says about Himself because it doesn't fit my picture of what He should be like.  And other times I'm so in love with Him that nothing else seems important.

My prayer is that God will work in my heart to bring me to an attitude of mourning the need for Christ to die and rejoicing in what His death (and resurrection) accomplished.