As Christians, we often talk about our spiritual “mountain top” experiences: those times when we feel closest to God for whatever reason. Although I haven’t always been at the pinnacle of my spiritual mountain during the last few months, I have definitely felt closer to God than I had in a while. And then last night, I came crashing back to earth. While I have been making my way back down the mountain over the last couple of weeks, last night I tumbled headlong off a cliff, giving into temptation and ignoring God completely.
In all honesty, I shouldn’t be surprised. In the last two weeks, I’ve become more and more physically exhausted, which means I’m not getting up when I need to in the morning, which means I’m not spending time with God, which means I’m becoming spiritually exhausted, which eventually leads to emotional exhaustion as well. Physical exhaustion + spiritual exhaustion + emotional exhaustion = wide open door for temptation and no desire or energy to flee from it. There are many things I could choose to blame for this fall, but ultimately the responsibility is entirely mine. I have not been choosing into God and my relationship with Him.
So I would greatly appreciate your prayers during these last few weeks of the semester. We only have two weeks of ministry left before debrief and then coming home. But these are going to be busy weeks, and there will be more temptation to ignore God and focus on “doing”. While the ministry we’re doing and the books we’re reading are important, my relationship with God needs to be my focus and my priority. Please pray that I would make it so. Pray also that I would make time for solitude and simply being in God’s presence. I’m here to pour into the lives of others, but I cannot give what I don’t have.
